


That's Not What The Earrings Are For

by queen_of_troy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (Tary's just background and the others aren't in it for very long), F/M, i saw a post on tumblr and it made me write this, this is the smutty version
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:44:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10192256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_of_troy/pseuds/queen_of_troy
Summary: im sorry im just imagining vex gathering everyone in a room like“hey can you guys give me your earrings for like two hours i wanna do something funny”“lmao what”“im gonna fuck with percy”It's not Vex's fault Percy gets so easily flustered by dirty talk. Inspired bypercyvex(and her genius anon) on tumblr.





	

"Why does Vex want us to meet her?" Keyleth asks Vax as they wander along one of Whitestone's many long corridors in the vague direction of the library.

"No idea," Vax shrugged, "she just said it was for a good and noble cause."

They meet Grog coming up a marble staircase, Pike riding on his shoulder. When she catches sight of them Pike points towards the library doors and says, "You too?"

Vax and Keyleth nod, mirroring the tiny cleric's confused frown.

"This had better be good," Grog grumbles as they all fall into step, "I was about to go to the tavern, it's wrestling night."

"I thought wrestling night was just any night you walked into a tavern," Keyleth teases.

"So every night," Vax adds, dodging the good natured swing Grog makes for him and pushing the library doors open. Grog has to crouch to get through and Pike slips nimbly off his shoulders as he does so, her armour clattering as she lands.

"Ah, good, you're here," they hear a familiar voice say, and Vex emerges from between the seemingly neverending stacks of books with a grin on her face.

"What the fuck is this, Stubby?" Vax asks. "Cause if it's a prank you know nancy boy will kill you if you get any stains on the carpets."

Vex rolls her eyes.

"It's not a prank, idiot - well, not on you lot, anyway."

Four sets of ears immediately perk up at the hint of potential mischief.

"This is gonna sound weird, but I need you all to give me your earrings for a couple of hours."

"Why?" Grog asks suspiciously, a hand automatically covering the earlobe from which his earring dangles.

"I'm gonna fuck with Percy."

She takes a breath to explain, but before she can even form the first word a golden earring hits her in the chest, and three more follow as she scrambles to catch them all.

"D... don't you want me to tell you -?"

"Nope," Vax says, already heading for the door. "Just remember to give them back when you're done."

"Have fun!" Pike says brightly, patting her on the arm before following the others out.

Vex looks down at the earrings nestling in her palm.

"Well, that was easier than I anticipated."

☆☆☆

_Clang. Clang. Clang._

Percy pauses briefly to wipe the sweat from his brow before resuming his work, squinting through the heat haze and steam at the small object he's been carefully shaping.

_Clang. Clang. Clang._

He and Tary have been in the workshop for several hours now, tinkering with various projects; the experimental torch attachment for his gun is finally good enough to test, but that can wait til tomorrow, and Tary is now sketching out ideas for an upgrade on Doty while Percy makes some more grappling arrows for Vex. He's crafted enough of them now that most of the process is relatively easy, but shaping the metal for the hooks and release mechanism is still very detailed work and requires a lot of concentration.

_Clang. Clang. Clang._

After a few more minutes he lifts the piece up to get a good look at it, and, satisfied with his work, plunges it into the nearby bucket of water.

It's only as the hissing noise of the rapidly cooling metal dies away that he registers Vex's voice in his ear.

"Percy? Are you there, darling?"

He puts down his tools and pulls one glove off to touch a hand to the earring.

"Yes, sorry, here now. What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing's the matter, darling, I just wanted to talk to you."

Percy blushes a little, still unused to the way his heart warms when Vex shows him affection.

"Oh. Well, where are you? I can come and -"

"Don't be silly, you're having fun tinkering, I don't want to interrupt that. I just wanted to tell you again how much I loved last night."

"Last night?" he repeats blankly, staring into space.

"Yes," Vex purrs in his ear, "that thing you did with your tongue was just _exquisite_ , I've never felt so -"

Realisation hits Percy like a ton of bricks and he almost chokes on nothing but air, spinning around to glance panickedly at Tary - his pounding heart calms fractionally when he sees the other man is not wearing an earring, but the others must be, and Vex is _still talking_ -

"...never thought I could come that many times in an hour, how do you always know exactly what to do to me to make me scream -"

" _Vex'ahlia_ ," he gasps in a strangled tone, too mortified to even form a coherent sentence _people can **hear** this_ -

"Do you know how much I love having you inside me?" Vex continues relentlessly, safely ensconsed in her bedroom and pressing a hand to her mouth between sentences to stifle the laughter threatening to erupt from her chest. "Do you know how good it feels when I take you in me and ride you til you're so desperate to come you can't even -"

_"Sweet gods of Pelor, Vex'ahlia, **your brother uses these earrings!"**_

Vex is shaking now, unable to suppress a few gasps of mirth, but through her tears she manages to pitch them low and say breathily, "Oh, Percy, darling, I want you, I want you to fuck me _so badly_ -"

The half-strangled noise on the other end of the earrings is too much, and she bursts out laughing, collapsing back onto her bed and howling unstoppably at the ceiling. She dimly registers Percy swearing in her ear, but she does nothing to stop the laughter until her bedroom door almost explodes off its hinges and she sits up to see Percy standing in the doorway. His face is so red it's almost purple, and the expression on his face as his gaze travels from the earrings lying in a pile on her desk to her gleeful grin is better than she ever could have dreamed.

"You godsdamned _witch_ ," he growls, stalking towards her and pulling her to him. Before she can respond his mouth is on hers, his teeth scraping mercilessly over her lips and his fingers digging into her scalp and hips almost hard enough to bruise; the bulge in his trousers indicates she got to him in more than one way and she smirks against his mouth.

"I hate you so much," he hisses, pushing her back down onto the bed, pinning her thighs with his knees and attacking her neck with more biting kisses. She slides a hand down his front and grips him through his trousers, relishing the almost pained gasp it draws, and murmurs, "Well, this would indicate that's not entirely true - unless you've just got Animus in your pocket?"

"Fuck you," he spits.

"Yes please," she replies smoothly, unfastening his trousers and pushing them down. He swears again and sits back up, pulling his shirt off over his head before tearing hers open and burying his face in her chest, his teeth dragging over her breasts and catching at her nipples hard enough to make her cry out.

"What the fuck have you done to me, Vex'ahlia?" he groans, pulling back to almost rip her trousers from her body and toss them aside. He grabs her hands and pins them above her head before she can touch him, settling back between her already spread legs and _gods_ , she loves it when he gets like this, he's usually so submissive and pliant that the enraged lust now darkening his face goes straight to her core and makes her squirm in eager anticipation.

"You almost give me a fucking heart attack," he growls, his nails digging into her skin as he pushes himself into her with an obscene gasp, "and instead of giving you the strangling you so richly deserve you just make me want to fuck you even more than I usually do?" His hips slam into hers in a vicious rhythm that tears all the breath from her lungs, and he has her so thoroughly pinned she can do nothing but take it, each thrust dragging a choked whimper from her as he takes her closer and closer to the edge.

"You are a devil woman, Vex'ahlia," and oh, the sound of her name in his mouth is glorious, ragged and desperate and _furious_ , "you're impossible, I could fucking _kill_ you right now, I _hate_ you, _sweet fucking gods_..."

His head drops to her neck and he bites down again with a low, guttural moan, each thrust now hard and fast and relentless, and the heady mixture of pleasure and pain is making her want to scream his name -

"Say you're sorry," he snaps suddenly, lifting his head and fixing her with an intense gaze.

"Wh - what?"

"For what you did. Say sorry."

Disobedience flares in her like arousal, and she slits her eyes and hisses, "Make me."

His scowl deepens and he abruptly stops moving, his hands tight on her wrists and the heat and weight of his body keeping her pinned helplessly in place as she cries out at the sudden loss of friction.

"Say - sorry," he repeats through gritted teeth, pulling almost completely out of her and then pushing back in agonizingly slowly, and she whimpers and squirms under him, the release she is now desperate for slipping rapidly away. She meets his gaze and there is no mercy in his steely expression; she knows from past experience he will tease her like this for hours if he has to, giving her just enough pleasure to keep her aroused without allowing her a hint of satisfaction, and her self-control shatters.

"I'm sorry," she sobs, her entire body shaking with need, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I swear - please, please just fuck me, I need you to - Percy, _please_..."

He relents and sinks deep into her with a loud moan, and she throws her head back and screams as he rides her furiously, white-hot pleasure building rapidly between her legs and then exploding, searing through her as she clenches around him and comes, Percy following her moments later with a loud cry.

His body goes slack against her and his grip on her wrists loosens, and as they lie together panting and shaking Vex runs a hand through his hair and down his back and decides that if this is the effect it has on him she definitely needs to mess with him more often.

☆☆☆

A few hours later, Vax bumps into his sister in the corridor.

"How'd it go?" Vex traces the already darkening marks Percy left on her neck and grins.

"Beautifully."

**Author's Note:**

> You know how sometimes you see a thing and inspiration doesn't so much hit you as crack you over the back of the skull for 86 points of damage?
> 
> Yeah, that's what happened here.
> 
> [The post that inspired this,](http://percyvex.tumblr.com/post/158141543998/vex-being-like-i-wonder-how-much-of-an-ass-i-can) for anyone who's curious (thanks again [percyvex](http://percyvex.tumblr.com))
> 
> I've mostly been lurking in the Critical Role tags on tumblr til now and this is the first fic I've published in like 3 years so pls be kind! Feedback always appreciated :)


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